so much to talk about since my last post. saw dr r and she is reducing my neurontin some more, then eliminating it! i am excited about that!!!! the thought that i may be able to deal with some aspects of this illness without all the current meds is great! hopefully i can deal with thing without it. if things get to the point that i can't i will see her in five weeks, or she is only a phone call away. i am just going to have to be aware of how i am thinking and feeling.

we also went away for a long weekend, and had a relaxing time at the beach. i ate like a pig, and will probably be stunned when i get on the scales at work this week, but oh well, it was fun. the ice cream was great! we stayed at the fenwick inn with the dog, and trumpyie seemed to have a good time. i ran along the boardwalk friday, and set a new time. i did 3.5 miles and did 11.23 mph! i've never even come close to that. the best i've done is around 12. my knees and ankles were sore from all the running i did last week (24 total miles), so i'm taking it easy this week. i have cherry blooms sunday morning, and don't want to go into it achy.
the rest of the vacation was fun, and enjoyed myself shopping. got a pair of shoes for the gym, and some running shoes.

i was bummed that pt seemed to want to sleep a lot, but when we got home, i arrived tired, and he is well rested, and refreshed. i forgot to bring the heating pad, and ended up with a migraine on saturday night. i could not believe it, i got my period AGAIN! it is coming all the time. it feels like it was two weeks ago, but i think it was probably more like three. it just feels like all the time.

anyway, overall, the last four days have been enjoyable. we are cutting back on meds, had a fantastic run, had some fun playing outside in oc, along with some necessary, yet fun shopping at the outlets. seems a shame to go back to reality and ruin it.

there is so much to say that i'm not sure i'm going to get it all in. the weekend was nice. i got to the gym saturday and did some serious lifting. i was totally surprised because i was nowhere near sore sunday. the dinner party went well also. the turkey turned out well, in fact all the food turned out well. nancy brown took a turn for the worse, so dennis and patsy could not make it, but all who were here appeared to have a good time.

sunday was a blast. the 5k went well. i was paced nicely the first mile by someone named collette. i found out later that she is a patient. we chatted for the second mile. i could have taken off for the third mile, but it was my turn to reciprocate. she appreciated my help getting up the little hill at the end. after the race, i listened to the meeting on the phone. garry gave the talk. i changed clothes around three times(the temperature went up about 20 degrees), and went out running again. i went on a new route, i finally did the tannery road route. i was so proud of myself. i pushed myself on the hills, and my time showed it, it was something like 12:15 min/miles! i was so excited when i saw that. i was a little disappointed at first because i thought it was 8.5 miles, and it turned out to be 7.5 miles, but still, my overall time is still great. i had complete running endorphins going when i got home and was excited to do anything. that lasted about an hour. after that, i was exhausted, and just wanted to nap. i ended up just finishing laundry, folding those cloths, and going to bed around ten.

i talked to patsy last night and made arrangements to give her some of the cheesecake that was leftover. she was able to come this morning. she looks good, but i am worried about her. she and dennis are doing a lot of running between the kh remodel, and nancy. i hope they are ok. hopefully the cheesecake gives her some happiness. i know she likes that kind.

today at work was uneventful, but busy. young people kept needing stuff. we had a rash of kids needing blood work between 4:30 & 5. it did not set a fun tone for the evening. anyway everything got done, and i got out at a reasonable time, so i'm happy. i guess i can look forward to doing this again tomorrow.

i thought i would have more energy today. i got a good nights sleep last night, i ate right, had coffee, and when i felt a midday lull, i went to the gym and exercised. i am exhausted. i have no idea why i am so tired. i thought the med change was working, and i had more energy, but, this week i have had zero energy. i got up and went out in service this morning, but after that i have had nothing. i did enjoy the gym. i cycled, and did the elliptical for a little cross training. hopefully i will see some running results in three to six months if i can do this twice a month. my ideal schedule is to run four days a week, lift twice a week, and do other cardio twice a week. i doubt that will happen b/c i didn't even do half of that this week, and i'm exhausted. we will see what reality will bring. i hate feeling weak.

tomorrow we are having ppl over to celebrate our 20th anniversary. it is supposed to be 5 couples. chris and michelle may not make it because nancy is not doing well. apparently she had taken a turn for the worse. i'm not sure if there is anything i can do to help. i was hoping to stay out there tonight, but i have to be up early tomorrow to put the turkey in the oven. jean was saying it may be less than a weak. i didn't realize that nancy was that bad off. i'm hoping to stay there tuesday afternoon. i feel very selfish not helping. i am not helping this weekend because of our anniversary party, then a race, then we are going away for a long weekend. everything is revolving around me.

by the way, maryland won their first game in the ncaa tournament. they were the lower seed (#10 beating a #7). they will have a much harder game tomorrow. it is a #2 seed, memphis. i am not holding out high hopes.

it's been a boring couple of days. i finally recovered from my stiffness from the gym, so i went again today. i ran the treadmill, and did some very light lifting. work has been busy. i still very much notice that we are short a nurse, but am somehow coping. we are somehow getting through. yesterday afternoon was extremely crazy, heather was out. today, not as bad. there was a lot from yesterday to catch up on, but it all got done. after work, it felt nice to run, then lift. i just wanted to re acclimate myself with some machines. i didn't want try too much. i don't want to be stiff tomorrow. i can hopefully lift again on saturday.

it's been a busy couple of days. had an enjoyable time with kendal and sue yesterday. pt had a blast helping kendal with her math, and i had fun talking with sue. it was nice to have down time talking to one of the girls. i also met with one of the trainers at the gym. that was ok, but not too educational. i was hoping to get more acclimated with their equipment. i guess i will figure that out on my own. i am sore today, but on too bad. i guess it can best be described as comfortably sore. it is only bad when i sneeze, but i was the one who requested core work. i am also a lot weaker than i thought, and need to build up strength.

today after the meeting, we went out with mike and dave. that was fun. nothing outstanding, but i wasn't expecting anything to happen. the watchtower discussed having joy in our ministry, and i honestly do find joy in the ministry. i am frequently tired and have trouble getting out of bed for the ministry, but i do enjoy it when i am up and out.

i did run after service, and it was an ok run. i watched an episode of csi. i still have trouble hearing the tv over the t.mill, but i can usually follow along. i thought it would be harder b/c i thought i would be more sore from yesterdays trip to the gym. it still took me a while, but it had been a long time since i put in a regular running week, then lifting on top of that, i really pushed myself. i hope i do not try to push myself too hard, and burn out. my only goal is to run faster. i have noticed that my times are up a little. i looked down today at my speed, and i was comfortable jogging at 4.8 instead of 4.4. that is a noticeable jump. i did have to take a walk break, but i blame that on soreness from yesterday. at least that is what i want to blame that on. my goal it to be able to lift twice a week, and be done in about an hour. if i can slip in another day of cardio, that would be great, but if it doesn't happen, that is ok too.

today was a good day. i actually got out of bed with a good attitude. worked out in service with sue and kendall. had the usual great time with them. i was totally loaded up on caffeine by the time i got home, and we also made arrangements to have them come over so pt can help kendall with her math. she currently has a d in algebra! both she and her mom are happy with the offer of pt to tutor her in the subject. they are going to stay for dinner. i am going to make ribs and rice. i've been itching to make ribs, so i'm excited. it should be fun.

i had a great tempo run today. i was able to hit it hard from the beginning. i was real happy with that. i also joined golds gym today. now i have a place where i can go and cross train and lift a couple times a week. i am excited. i will work with a personal trainer tomorrow to get acclimated with their machines.

so far it has been a great day. i am expecting everything else to be totally uneventful. pt and i are on our own for dinner, and the terps are in the acc tournament tonight. if they win, they have a shot at the ncaa tournament.

i haven't studied my tower yet, and i'm trying to do that on fridays b/c i'm always worried about a migraine on saturdays. it will be a struggle to do it tomorrow b/c i work in the am, see the trainer, then am having kendall and sue over. it will be a busy day.

today was a good day. i am anticipating tomorrow to be a good day.

normal day at work. thursdays are much easier to work knowing they are only half days. i am looking to my long weekend in 2 weeks. nothing special happened, and i got out on time. i ran a few errands so i don't have to do them tomorrow when the stores are more crowded, and came home and ran. it was another t.mill run. i wish i could say it was a spectacular run, but it was rather ordinary. i was hoping to make it a tempo run, but i started out too slow. my legs ached a lot the first couple of miles. i didn't eat lunch b/c i thought i was going to run earlier, and i guess i waited too long. the later miles were fine, i was able to up the pace and keep up just fine. i am hoping to run tomorrow again to make it an actual normal running week. it that happens it will be my first or second normal running week since probably june. my big worry is my head. i had a monster migraine yesterday, and may have another coming on. i had the hardest time at work yesterday. the zomig did little. i finally got relief when i got home, took a percocet, and laid on the sofa very still. hopefully i do not repeat that.

tomorrow i would like to go out in service in the morning, and clean the house in the afternoon. at least clean the down stairs for the service group for saturday, but the whole house could really use attention. saturday i work again.

finally got over my megalong run on saturday (3-7) of 11 miles. i ran home from work, and those hills are rough. work has been normal this week, and i even got back on the t.mill today. i guess all is status quo. i'm kinda hoping things stay this way, i can handle this. i want a normal week.

i read dr r's blog for the first time in a few days. she is really leaving, and i'm going to be very sad. i have become a very stable person under her care, and am not looking forward to seeing her leave. i am just worried that someone new will tweak wrong and completely get me messed up. i feel she has a great bond with me, and listens to me. more than that, she hears what i'm not saying, or cannot figure out how to say. she gets the point. i've never had a psy respect me so much. for this i have great admiration and respect for her, and i will miss her. she has said she is coming back, but i'm not totally sure. she will have nothing ting her to the baltimore area when her husbands contract is completed in ecuador. i am definitely better for having her in my life, and i sincerely hope she comes back, but i doubt she will.

worked today. covered for lt, she had a funeral. all went well, and most of the work was done by 12:30. nothing too interesting happened.

i did decide to run home from work. i usually do my long run on sundays, but the opportunity was there and the weather was right. it was a nice run. i took the time to pray, and think about the new system and the preaching work yet to be done. there is much in jehovah's service to do, and i really should be doing more. i have the idea of pioneering in october in the back of my mind. it will take a lot of work, and scheduling, but may be possible. it will also depend on how many saturdays i work and how much energy i have. i will be preparing for my last half of the year in october. i should have a good base by then. i will have run va beach in early september, so i will only need to keep up my long runs between the two half.

i am looking forward to seeing nessa and the kids in november, and we are toying with the idea of seeing tom and kris since we will be over half way down there. it will be only be for a day or two, but they are fun ppl, and katie had always been enjoyable. she had the best facial expressions! the boys are also getting big now, but they are little, and who really cares anyway. mandy is still down there somewhere. it would be nice to see her also. she was always a lot of fun. i know her life has taken some turns that she didn't expect, but she seems to making the best of everything (at least i hope so). it will be just after running the half, so i will not feel the need to adjust the vacation around my running. we are hoping to go to ocean city in a few weeks, and i will have to go online and plot routes, and see how long everything is, and plan times to run, because i always want to make sure i'm getting my running in when i'm away. i enjoy seeing things that way when i'm away, it helps me relax, plus i feel that i'm keeping to a schedule. sometimes i think i should really just relax. i need to learn to chill. isn't that the point of vacation?

i really wanted to post yesterday, but i was in a foul mood, and ended up with a migraine. many of my ha's are pre-empted my a bad mood. it wasn't the worst ha in the world, but it prevented me from going to the kingdom hall. i missed seeing the friends.

yesterday was not a good day in general. my period decided to start again. this is like the third time in like six weeks! this has got to stop! anyway, it was a pmseee kinda day, i was just cranky. i didn't want to work, i was mad at myself for not running on tuesday. i totally wimped out of running tuesday. i was so cold, i mean freezing, i could not get warm under 3 blankets, and dressed in layers. eventually tuesday i developed the migraine, then my lack of motivation made sense, but i really need to stick to my training schedule. my half season starts soon, and i need to show some real self discipline. i have been a slacker for months. hopefully the med change will help with the fatigue, and i will not have that excuse. if i continue in the pattern i've been going, i am going to really struggle on these half marathons. i may not even complete the md half. that one has hills. i'm covering for lt at work on saturday, and am supposed to have a long run on sunday. i may just see if i can run home from work on saturday. it will be nine miles of hills. that will be a true challenge. i've only done it once, and really enjoyed it.

today was a better day. i only worked half a day, ran, and chilled. not much to report. the dog and i are antsey for pt to get home from work, but that will not happen for another couple of hours. it will be nice spending a couple of days with him.

i did listen to therunningshoe podcast while on my run. it was about the hypothermic halfmarathon in canada (great future goal). they mentioned another blog from this web address from a triathlete that i'm gonna look at and see if lori is interested. i love the recommendations that podcasts gives.

had an interesting day. the co's visit was uneventful. the gist of all of his talks is reliance on jah in this time on the end, and doing more and more in his service. both things i need to work on. i find myself worrying too much about the economy and not putting enough faith in jah that he will work things out. i really need to be a better servant. bro labell brought out the difference between being obedient and submissive today. obedient is when we understand and agree, submissive is when we don't necessarily understand or agree, but follow anyway, like moses and the red sea.

i had an enjoyable run today. pt suggested that i take the dog. he thought she has had a lot of energy lately. i did the 5 mi rockland rd loop. she was dragging behind on bell rd, and i thought i was going to have to call pt and have him pick her up, but she perked right up when i extended the leash at the end of the road. on adams mill rd she saw some cows and calves, and ran toward them, and the big animals ran from her. it was so funny to see all these beings that could just stomp her out running away from her. she seemed to enjoy the run until we got back onto pavement again, then she lagged behind again. we were so close to done that i thought there was no point in calling pt to pick her up.

not much else got done around the house this weekend. the laundry is almost done, only a load of towels remains to be done. i do feel like i actually have energy today, and i forget what that feel like. it is 10 pm, and i am only just beginning to get tired. for the past several months i have been dragging anytime after 2 or 3 pm. it is nice to have energy in the evening. i hope it sticks, but i am also cautious.