i want to say i've been busy these last couple of days, but not really. went out in service yesterday, but only in the am. had a good am. stopped in and saw krista, she looked good, and kayla did real well through her last surgery. everything turned out fine, and hopefully everything is done. took the co out to lunch, that was uneventful, they are much less conversational than just about any co i can remember. i ran a few errands, and came home. i was hoping to run, but that didn't happen. i was exhausted. what else is new? i am tired of being tired. i did have the pharmacist at giant tell me that my effexor 225 was not on the market, that pissed me off. i was ready to slap her. i was cranky. i was that tired, but couldn't fall asleep, not that i wanted to fall asleep.

worked to day, and walked into a nightmare on my desk. there was a ton of charts on my desk. i had a nice talk with barb m after all the staff and patients left. it was nice to take five min and learn i am not the only one who sees some of the stuff i do. it will be interesting to see what happens there in the future.

it occurred to me today that my next half is in 3 months. i only have about 12 weeks to prepare. i've been so exhausted that i've been continuing to move backward in my running progress. i really hope the changes in my meds really help otherwise i'm in trouble. i am really going to struggle over the next 12 weeks to prepare and participate in this half. i hope this is not too little too late.

haven't written in a few days b/c nothing has happened. work uneventful. i was able to get on the t.mill later today and run. that was fun. listened to this american life on my ipod, and enjoyed those stories. all about ppl following their plan b in life, and it usually worked out. i guess i don't feel too bad that i actually came back around to my plan a, and it has worked out.
saw doc r today. i finally agreed to let her lower my meds, and we came down on 2 of them. the neurontin will be 600 bid and the effexor xr will be 225 qd. we are hoping this will help with the fatigue issue. i am very excited.

long day i slept forever, and didn't want to get up. once i finally got up and walked the dog i had to go to work. ended up working until 10 pm. nothing exciting happened. alicia had to go home early, she is still not feeling well. we were just busy tonight, lots of everything. yesterdays run caught up to me around 9. i was surprised, i thought i would be tired and cranky most of the day. my legs are sore, but no other major effects from the rough run yesterday. i must be getting used to this. i really should keep a long run in my routine. i am tired, and am working all day tomorrow, hopefully i can sleep well tonight.

got up at 5:00 this am, and dressed very warmly, b/c i committed to run a 10 mi race. i was excited about it, but i truely think i should be committed! it ended up being warmer than i thought it was going to be, so i only wore 2 shirts, and 2 pairs of pants. that was fine untill the sleet and snow came. actually, the snow was more comfortable than the sleet. it was a bummer though b/c the sleet was on the longest part of flat course, and that wouldn't have been so bad, except the sleet was blowing in our faces! anyway it wasn't so bad. i met 2 other ladys who were end of the packers like me. we had an enjoyable time talking. my time was 9 minutes better than my best hoped for, so i am elated about that. all was fine untill i warmed up, then, when i went outside, i got cold again. i had trouble getting warm after that. so ended up being cold after all the worry and effort.





the rest of my day has been totally uneventfull. watched a movie, and watched some of a baskedball game while pt sleeps. i didn't sleep too well last night (think i was excited ablout today, and worried about yesterdays migraine), but i don't want to sleep today for fear i don't sleep well tonight.





almost done my laundry for the weekend, then all my chores will be done. kinda a productive weekend.

this is my first attempt at blogging. i have written journals in the past, but have gotten away from it, also have a running log on runnersworld.com. that is strictly about my running. there is not much really to tell about me. i work 28-30 hrs a week as a medical assistant, and run about 15 miles a week. i would like to run closer to 20 miles, but i am too tired too much of the time to increase that right now. that leads me right into the other factor in my life, and that is that i am bipolar. it is a rather fun roller coster ride which requires holding on for ones life at all times because we never know when i'm going to blow! i can be going along great, then all of the sudden become totally depressed, and demotivated, or go manic, and completely unreasonable. have fun riding that part of the ride. just to make things interesting, when all is going well in my life i will get hit with a migraine(s). that can make like interesting.



i have a migraine now, but, only a 5 on a 1-10 scale, so i should be able to deal with it.



i went to the catoctin mtg this am b/c i have a 10 mi race in columbia in the am. i hate missing mtg for my hobby, so i went this am.



i saw maureen this past week, and she too feels that the fatique is related to the meds. dr r has been hinting at that for months. i have finaly conceded. i see her this week. i am going to ask her to start to cut back my meds. i want my life back. i am tired of feeling tired by 5 pm, and i want to go back to running 20 miles, and maybe go up to 25 miles/wk within a year. forward progress in life would be nice. anyway i will know more in a week.



work this past week was stressfull, and i got the talk from carolyn that i was to stop complaining. i was either to suck it up, or i was free to find another job. i probally would not have cared, but i hurt coming from someone i respected. i am considering looking for another job. i doubt anything will actually happen since i've been happy most of the 7 yrs i've been there, but it hurts to know that someone i respected thinks so little of me.