today was the maryland half marathon, 13.1 miles of uphill and downhill. it was a very pretty run, and at times very grueling. the first six miles were very easy i did them in no time, after that, it turned uphill. from about mile 6.5 to mile 8 the hill was not too bad, it was a carroll county uphill. then it turned steep, very steep! robert had just passed me, because miles 5.5 to 8 are an out and back, and he was cruising, making great time. he said that he was slowed to a walk from mile 8.5 to mile 9, it was that brutal. i would have been fine it that were the end of the steep hills, but mile 10.5 to mile 11 was uphill a very steep part of semenary rd. everyone in the pack i was around was slowed to a walk. i was a broken person after that. thankfully i was also very close to the end, and was able to run a good bit of mile 12. it is a good feeling to have accomplished a half marathon be 11 in the morning. robert posted a good time, but it was at least 10 minuted slower than his frederick half, so, i don't feel bad that my time is ten minuted slower than anticipated. i am just glad the event is behind me. all the worry and fear is done. i no longer have to worry about having enough energy for the event, or eating enough for training for the event. i do, however, think it is a good idea to continue to keep my caloric intake up a little.


yesterday, i had a very pleasant dinner with mom, bob,earl, and peter. mom has been wanting to have dinner at the cheesecake factory for a long time, and i was finally able to get her there. she totally enjoyed herself. it was also an excellent pre-race dinner, and i can never resist taking cheesecake home.


the o's lost, but they made it an exciting game to watch. that is about all that can be expected from the youngsters.

my day is now winding down. the only productive thing i've done is laundry. i am tired, and am going to bed early.

reality starts again tomorrow, and i want to again start writing down everything i eat to track how much i am eating. i think it is the best way to make sure i'm getting enough, and at the same time not too much.

i just checked my chip time for the half, and it is 2:55:02. i was hoping for slightly better, but with those hills, i have to be satisfied with those results. i was about a minute per mile off the pace i wanted, but, things could have been much worse.

i am so nervous. i have a two mile track run in a couple of hours. it is a nothing of a run, and i am totally freaking out. i am so nervous that i'm shaking. it is with the local road runners. it is their first of the twilight series. i like doing them because they get me prepared for the bigger races. they remind me not to start too fast and to get used to the feel of being around a crowd of runners, and being the slowest in the group. i need to leave in about 45 minutes, and i am getting totally, absurdly nervous.

the rest of my day went well. it was my last day of work before the half, and everyone wished me well. i kinda treated it like the day before a vacation, my mind wasn't really at work. i ended up having fun, and talked to lori a lot. she has a big triathlon on sunday that she has been focusing on for months. i wished her well, and she invited me over sunday after our big events for a feast. i doubt i'll go. they tend to drink a lot, and that is not my style.

i had a good visit with dr r today. she is an amazing person. she has been a miracle worker in my life. it is funny to see the human side of her. she is spazing over her move. i am so jealous over her opportunity, and after the dust settles, so will she. i hope i helped calm some of her fears today. she is an amazing person with an amazing opportunity, and if anyone can make the most of it, she can. i envy her and her daughters. if they choose to come back, it will be with a different perspective on many things. i think she will have a hard time getting back into the routine she is in now. she has been of so much benefit to me over the past 8 years, that i hope maybe today i was able to give a little back, she definitely deserves it.

just came from the track. it was a great run! the two miles just flew bye. it was raining, and i met a lady named judy. she and her husband are attempting to get into shape to better their golf game. their goal was just to finish. i crossed the finish line with judy. even through the wind and the rain i had a very enjoyable time. i was actually hoping for a slightly slower time. i really wanted to take the run slow and not tire my legs out for sunday. i did a few things smart with this race though, like not starting too fast, and it has left me very confident of not making stupid mistakes on sunday.

the next two days i coast. i eat, hydrate, and get a pedicure. actually saturday will be busy with the running i'm going to do since i'm taking my mom down to towson for packet pick up and to the cheese cake factory for the pre race dinner. she has wanted a meal from there for a long time, and i promised her this a long time ago. bob can't make it until five, so it will be a litter later than i had hoped. they will probably be crowed by then. oh well, we'll deal with it when it comes.

i feel like there is so much i really should write about, but nothing is coming to me. i wonder if i will be productive at all tomorrow.

i think i'm freaking myself out about this weekend. i've worked so hard for it, worried about it, anticipated it, and now it is close. there is nothing i can do now except eat and sleep. i was supposed to have this afternoon off, and that didn't work happen, so i was stuck doing other people work. work was chaos this week as usual. they need to hire someone, and someone who can do everything. they keep hiring na's that don't know how to do much, leaving the fully trained ma's to carry the lions share of the work. then management doesn't understand why we are stress out. they don't understand that incompetent help is worse than no help.

i just need sleep.

on top of everything else, i'm getting my first headache in over three weeks.

today was full of surprises. as usual i had trouble getting up, and was running around and was going to be late for the kingdom hall. i came in from walking the dog and peter pointed out that we had a huge infestation of ants overnight in our kitchen. we did a quick clean up, got rid of food that had ants on them, but i ended up running out and getting some ant spray, staying home, and cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. it only took a couple of hours to clean everything after it was sprayed, and the ants have not returned. i think i sprayed the point of entry pretty well, and i think we are going to have it treated. i will have a better idea tomorrow. in the mean time, there is nothing left out. i saw three ants in the master bath, so i guess i will be doing the same there tomorrow.


the other surprises, it that the cleaning did not sap me of all energy. i had enough left over to go to the gym. i ran five miles on the treadmill. i slowed it down, and did 12:20 miles, but i was consistent, and felt well. i even had enough energy when i got home to go for a walk with peter and the dog. we went up to bear branch, and walk some of the trails. the pedometer wasn't working properly, but i think we did about three miles. we would have done more, but the dog got tired. we saw deer, a red fox caring something in its mouth, and a duck with about ten chicks. they also have some cages with injured birds. there is a bald eagle among them. they were impressive. lori has started jogging those trails, and someday i hope to join her. trail running is a different experience than road running. one must be very careful, and the scenery is very different.


i had hoped to get my last real run before the half in on tuesday, but i forgot, i'm working all day on tuesday. i think i'm working a half day on wednesday, so i'll put in three of four miles then. thursday i have that track race, but that is only two miles, and i don't intend to push too hard. last place still counts as finishing.

just got done talking with peter about when his family comes to visit. i love his family, all but the one sister. she is so difficult. bud and vina are coming up and will be staying with us for a week, that much we know. we were told that ann and dave were going to stay with up because winnie and john were trying to sell there house and didn't want the clutter around. now i hear that the house is not really ready to sell, even though we have been told it has been on the market for ablout a year. apparently, since the house is not sold, and ann and dave's visit is so close, they have decided they want to host them. winnie is a controlling witch who cannot be trusted with anything. i am tired of her lying to me and changing every ones plans at the last minute. when they announced they were moving to kenya, i said to peter, that it would never happen. it looks like i'm right. they are staying close to irritate me. i was really looking forward to the family being together, it looks like winnie is going to ruin another family gathering.

it is memorial day weekend and the weather is nice. it is in the low 80s and sunny outside, i just wish i had the energy to enjoy it. i have no clue what is going on. i worked this morning, and my coffee got me through, but now it is early afternoon, and i'm exhausted. i have been taking zyrtec the last couple of weeks, and that can make ppl drowsy, but it shouldn't make me this bad, besides, i take it at night. i have been sleeping well, nothing is waking me up once i am asleep, and i'm falling asleep earlier. last night i fell asleep shortly after ten and had trouble waking up for work. i drug myself out of bed shortly after seven. the fatigue really has me worried. i have no clue how i will do in the half. i hope once i get going i can stay in motion. i will have coffee on the way there, and will consume some caffeine on the course, but, i'm not sure it will be enough. i have always finished what i have started, and i don't mind finishing last, but i have not run in two days, and today my legs felt heavy at work. there is no reason for that feeling. it is the same feeling i get the day after a long run, but there was absolutely no running yesterday. i am trying to taper for the race, and only plan to run three more time before the big race. this is scaring me. i set up a follow up appointment with my regular doctor in a couple of weeks, and hopefully he can run some blood work, and find something out.

i saw the dr yesterday for this itchy rash, and got a cream for an allergy. i hope it works. the rash is driving me crazy.

i would love to get some house cleaning done today, but, if i were a gambling person, i would bet against it. work took all my energy out of me, i am not tired, and have no energy left to clean. peter's family is coming in a little over a month, and i hope to have the house clean for them, thankfully i have over a month. maybe when i have this half out of the way i will have more energy, but i doubt it, besides, i have another half to jump right into training for. not that the training will be super intense, because, my body is not allowing for super intense right now. there is so much i would like to get done around the house this weekend, because it will just mean less to do later, but i'm not sure i have the energy.

is this a physical energy thing, or am i depressed?

just came from tony and maria's. they invited us over for dinner. we had a good time. they served mexican food. it was great. i guess i'm tired, because i'm now sounding like a fun with dick and jane book.

i'm going to bed. i'm going to the kingdom hall tomorrow, and am hoping to get in a five mile run. hopefully porsche can meet me at the gym, but i haven't talked to her yet.

wow, it has been over a week since my last post. i've thought about posting several times, but i've just been tired. everything else is going well. there is nothing new going on in my life. work has been ok, just the usual strangeness going on, nothing out of the ordinary there. running has become more difficult recently, but i blame that on the fatigue. i have had a hard time putting five miles together on the treadmill, but have had decent runs outside for my long runs. i did this weeks long run on saturday because it was supposed to be the nicer of the weather days, and i completed nine miles in 1:48! i was shocked when i came in under two hours. i took a couple of walk breaks, but a couple of times i hit the info button on my ipod and it said i was doing better than 10:30 min/miles, i was thrilled. i should be reassured for the half marathon since my long runs have been so good, but i still feel very unprepared.

i met with teri today, dr r replacement. she seems very nice, and to know what she is doing. dr r has me in a good place, and i honestly think i'm ok with her leaving. i would be lying if i said i had no reservations, but, i'm doing much better than when she found me, and she is entitled to an adventure. i just hope she can enjoy her year off. i will miss her, but i am much more capable of dealing with this than in the past. i really think there will be continuity of care with teri.

doing better since my last post. the weather has been nice this weekend. yesterday was supposed to rain, but ended up being nice all day, and today it was cooler and windy, but was very sunny and nice. i did manage to get out of the house both yesterday and today. i think/hope i have all my errands done for the weekend.

the weather was right, so i went for an eight mile run to dq and back. i almost called it quits and had peter pick me up mid way. i had cramps and didn't feel well. i have never quit a run before, and am pleased i didn't today, but i didn't feel well out there today. the skirt i wore to the kh today was bigger than i remember which means i must have lost more weight. i'm not sure i'm eating enough, which might be why i didn't feel well today. i really do need to figure out how to eat more often, instead of more at a time. it is just hard to eat during patient hours when i'm at work. outside of the osha rules against it, we are just too busy. i am pleased with how my taste have changed, and i no longer crave sweets like i used to, but i need to figure out how/when to consume about 200-300 calories per day more. i think i would feel better.

we saw the new star trek movie today. we were very impressed, and enjoy ourselves. we were not expecting much, and were pleasantly surprised. the humor kept to the original story line, and the special effects were not over done. there was a lot that could have gone wrong, or have been done over the top, but we thought it was well done.