NEW MOOD/NEW CHANGE

peter and i had our 21st wedding anniversary yesterday. i still cannot believe that he has stayed with me after everything i put him through. sometimes i think the nightmare is behind me, then there are days like today. i just want to cut. it has not been that way all day, but the pressure has built as the day has progressed. this may be a reflection of curtailing my xanax use, but i hate taking that stuff.