SO MUCH TO CATCH UP

there has been so much that has happened since my last blog both good and bad. i have had the run of my life! there was a morning, a sunday i think, that i got out of bed early and ran the four and a half mile route from my house. it has rolling hills, and i have always hated hills. this morning everything came together, and i mastered the hills!!!! it was a great feeling. now i know i can do those hills. i have been able to run up those hills one time since then because now i know it is possible. perspective is a funny thing, all of the sudden, those hills do not look so big.

work remains work. there are days that i want to walk away from that place, and then there are days that i realize that i will never have it so good. management loves me, and i ultimately have it very good where i am. i am part time with paid time off. management works with me as far as the bipolar goes. they are understanding. the providers i work with have respect for me and my professional ethics. many of the patients know me, and love me. the addicts know me and hate me because the providers use me to tell them no, or that they have to wait. i have also become very good at the skills required for my job. ultimately i enjoy what i do.

my life is good. i am married to a man who treats me very well. i could not ask for someone who balances me any better. he is mr. calm. my job is well suited to me, and i am developing friendships that i hope will be lasting.

christopher is in for two weeks. he will be going to the district convention with us. i suspect he will be staying longer that the designated two weeks. the last time his family asked if they could stay a week they stayed six months. i am having fun with chirs, and meeting some of the friends around his age, and their parents. he has been spending a lot of time at breann's house, and i have come to know her mother better. that has been fun. he has enjoyed himself, and the parents have appreciated having an older teenager around to entertain the younger kids and chaperon mike and breann. they have a pool and chris has had a lot of fun.

i remain tired all the time, but my mood is good. there is no desire to cut. i want to go to bed early, and sleep in every day. this can be a problem when i am running a 17 year old around. the dry mouth continues to be irritating, but i am learning to deal with that. the meds have slowed down my running, but it is hard to tell what is the fault of the meds and what to blame on the heat. i hope to run ten and a half on sunday before the meeting.

i do not know if anything here makes sense, i have a migraine. sometimes too, i think the meds are making me slower. my reflexes are slower, and my thinking is slower. i have definitely not been articulate today. heather and ben get married tomorrow, and i hope i am up to going to the wedding.

i know there is more to catch up on, but i have no idea what it is at this time. perhaps later i can do a better job of catching playing catch up.