PHYSICAL EXERATION

i pushed myself today, and i think it was a good thing. i went to bed early last night, but five am still came very early, and i ended up hitting the snooze bar twice. i never do that on a five am run! i was in shock when i realized it was 5:20. my plan from the beginning was to split my running up for today which turned out to be a good plan. we had the circuit overseer today at the kingdom hall, and i didn't want to miss him, or be late for his talk. i enjoy listening to brother jaskowski. i ran the bypass once, nine miles, in exactly 1:48. they were 12 min/miles, even. it was amazing. the hills felt good. peter and i went out for lunch, and when that settled, i hit the gym. i was hoping to get in five, but predetermined to be happy with three. i got to the gym a little before 4 and thought i had until 5, but it closed at 4:30, so i only got in three miles. i thought about pounding out the last two miles on the treadmill in the basement, but decided against it. what energy i did have left peter and i used to take the dog up to the trails at bear branch for a long walk. i am now exhausted.

i am again keeping a food journal, and it had been revealing this week. last week and the first of this week, i had energy. i lost that energy mid week, and missed my thursday run due to fatigue, i just could not make my body do it. i ate a lot more last week while on vacation. i didn't really gain any more weight either. i need to eat more, and do it daily. i get off track early in the week, and just don't focus on replacing the calories i'm burning. i am also terrified of gaining any weight back that i will not give a pound. i need to get over that. peter reminded me the other day that i need to enjoy the journey. i reminded him the weight loss journey is over, but he was talking about the running journey. i still enjoy running, and there is still improvement in my running that i want to do, that journey continues. if my not eating, or restricting my eating is holding that journey back, than i am not fully enjoying the journey. i hadn't looked at it that way. i need to feed the journey.

the meeting was good today. todd gave two good talks. he is a dynamic speaker, and i enjoyed listening to him. he emphasised the need to prioritise in this time of the end. we need to simplify, and not let materialism take over. we need to put jehovah first.

i also told peter over lunch how much i enjoyed hanging out with the family in new york, and how much i miss that here. i feel so lonely and isolated in my circle. i know a lot of people, but have no great friends. i feel very tied down to westminster with the house, but there is no guarantee that things would be better anywhere else.