FUNK

still in the funk i've been in. today i have had the compulsion to cut worse than in a long time. i had to take xanax at work, and had to repeat the dose when i got home. it is beginning to take the edge off. i feel so alone and isolated in this battle. all the friends i used to rely on to get me through hard days like today have all moved away. i have totally lost touch with them. i miss having a best friend, someone i have this ten year history with. i feel very alone. i want to cut. i wish i could cry. one is unacceptable, and one i am just programed not to do for some reason. i am just lost.